Achieving a Slower Family Christmas
How we memory makers can enjoy the festive season, too...
Trying to slow our family life down is always a work in progress. With sport-mad children and teens who love being on the go most of the year, I always want to incorporate slow and restful moments into our schedules. Even more so, as we enter these darker and colder months when I crave hibernation as well as festive fun.
The Christmas holidays are often easier for the kids to find moments of rest but not always for us memory makers. However, by setting clear intentions, it can be done over the holidays and during Advent.
A Slower Christmas can be more achievable by reducing diary commitments, reflecting on how to minimise festive stress, and planning a clear vision for December. With all that in mind and moving away slightly from the more commercial side of the season, I will come to break it down a little bit more for you.
Little Touches and Traditions
I believe in making the smaller stuff special, you can achieve the slower moments. For us, it’s celebrating St Nicholas on the 5th of December (as our third child was born in Germany).
Another celebration for us is Winter Solstice. A few years ago, we marked this day by gathering by firelight, eating and chatting together. We set intentions and burned our reflections of the year. It’s now one of our favourite family traditions. Make these traditions simple but wonderful!
Reflection
I think reflection is key. It’s such a good way of changing things up to achieve a slow Christmas. Reflecting on how December played out previously, making notes of what seemed overwhelming, what worked well and how improvements can be made. Keeping notes and further reflecting after Christmas while it’s all fresh will be useful for the future.
I know how much I love an insight into someone else’s thoughts and processes, so here are my reflections from last Christmas. It may help, jog your own…
White flowers & Eucalyptus - not too pricey, looked simple, clean and beautiful on my table in the run up to the big day and into January.
My favourite St Eval Winter Thyme candle on the table.
Light the Christmas Pudding - We didn’t make the effort the year before and I regretted this most simple of detail!
Forage Holly earlier and store somewhere cool, ready to use.
Take hot chocolate on our Boxing Day walk / swim. Pack ahead our boots etc for the walk, as after Christmas Day everything is everywhere!
Wrap ahead- always on my list!
I liked having a bunch of fresh mistletoe in the house and it always made the kids say ‘Eww’ when we kissed! ( National Trust shop purchase)
Make homemade decorations and an Advent calendar earlier. Try and make more of Advent; a candle burning each day at breakfast time and being present when they open their calendars.
Visit Santa at the National Trust and do the lights included in our membership.
Frozen cheese straws from Waitrose went down really well. Plus a few extra small canapes are nice before we eat.
Garland placed in the living room was so pretty
Start festive books and films to start early.
Continue with the Winter Solstice tradition
Eat before the village gathering on Christmas Eve
Make a larger ham to last for a few more meals post-Christmas.
Spend time with Christmas cookbooks and pick a few festive meals and bakes.
Block out more time to plan and make my wreath
Plotting and Plans
Plot and plan some time blocks; to shop, wrap, write cards and get-ahead with food prep. Just an hour here and there makes such a difference! It will in turn allow time blocks for DOWNTIME. A good idea is to write your get-ahead for each week and make sure you also include time and details for you and your family to slow down and enjoy Winter.
Time blocks in which you get to rest both with your family and yourself. I enjoy the Twixmas period, where the demands of the season are dwindling. This year, I want to achieve that restful feeling of Twixmas in Advent, even if it’s just short periods of rest, a winter sunset walk or a quiet trip to a favourite coffee shop.
When reflecting on Christmas, I know how helpful it is to plan and make lists. I’m usually not great at list writing (unless it’s reflections). I’m working on this, and I have taken steps towards holding myself a little accountable in writing this post and printing off Beth Kempton’s Christmas Planner. I’m looking forward to sitting down with a hot cuppa, Christmas music on and filling in my planner.
Gifting
There can be pressure at Christmas to have that pile under the tree. I truly feel the excitement of cutting back and being more intentional with our gifting. I’m not going to start holding myself to the five-gift rule, as I would prefer to be more flexible. However, with a sensible approach, I know we can achieve a balance. A few presents that cost a little more for quality, handmade gifts that don’t take too much of my time up, and by using charity shops and selling sites for second-hand gifts. I made a few Vinted purchases last year, and the kids didn’t notice, as they were new to them.
Hand-me-downs can be utilised.
Dig out any toy boxes that have been in the back of cupboards, attics, etc. The same goes for clothes. It’s amazing how children tend to forget about items that they haven’t seen for a year or so. I get out the Christmas novelty clothes; wash them and hand them to them on the 1st. It’s a bit like the memory of seeing the decorations box come out of the attic as a child, it’s just exciting to see them again! If I have a particular age gap missing, I will make a purchase and these days that’s mostly from Vinted, as Christmas jumpers etc are barely worn so why pay full price!
In the past, we have bought items for each child to gift to one another and this has added to their bulging pile of presents. A few years ago we encouraged our bigger ones to hand down a small box of Playmobil that was hidden in the back of the cupboard and gift it to the younger ones. If this isn’t possible, take your child to a local charity shop to buy a gift for their sibling. Maybe do a family Secret Santa? or make a handmade gift such as chocolate bark. Our school runs an event called the Secret Room, where they take unwanted items from home and then purchase other donated items. They then wrap them at school and pop them under the tree for Christmas day. I love seeing how excited they are to gift their secret room purchases! My favourite one was a large pack of Calendula seeds that my daughter Florence bought for me. I was delighted as they bloomed that summer and then I harvested the seed for this year’s flowers. That was one smart purchase from a then 6-year-old! However, last year she brought home Bodyshop white musk perfume which was a total blast from the past! On smelling it, I’m not sure how I wore it when I was younger!
Another idea, I have had this year is to possibly (time-dependent) raid the attic for our stored-away LEGO boxes and to make up little bags of LEGO as a cheaper alternative to LEGO calendars. I love this idea, as it spreads out the excitement over December with a bit of prep and no cost other than some paper bags.
Handmade Gifts
Our eldest daughter loves to make chocolate bark, candles or soap for others. I really want to try and take a leaf out of her book and make something for everyone. I often make homemade granola, so for me, this is an easy and enjoyable one to create. I’m thinking of Christmas gingerbread granola! I can even incorporate doing this into a nice mindful task for me or include one of my little ones to help make it a fun activity together. I love receiving a jar of something from someone, it always feels so wholesome and personal!
Slow it Down Even More
Say ‘NO’ was always going to make it on to my slow parenting tips! This has often helped my sanity. You can’t dedicate December to only making others happy. Pick what matters to you, stay in when you really want to stay in, and know that your kids will be happier if you are. Saying no to one more party can often make all the difference to how you feel and how you parent. Of late, I have learned how to say no, and it feels liberating! “I’m busy doing nothing!” really is ok to say out loud!
On the subject of rest again, try to encourage a bit of kindness to yourself. I often find myself making a nice moment for the kids such as a luxurious bath with a bath bomb or PJs and a movie time for them. I will be making sure, to time-block this kind of treat for myself too! I think an afternoon curled up watching The Holiday could be needed!
Also, cut a few corners…For example, I love homemade mince pies but for the last few years, I have used shop-bought mincemeat with my favourite pastry. I make them ahead and freeze them. Same with a few of the trimmings for Christmas Day. Your freezer really can be key to enjoying more December downtime!
Kindness can also be extended to others in simpler ways, making that time to have a kind exchange with someone who needs it or getting the kids to help carry some donations to the local food bank. These are the small exchanges that remind us of what Christmas is all about.
Slowing down the Big Day
We used to tear through presents on Christmas Day. The kids going crazy opening, one after another. Then we changed it up… We now all take turns in unwrapping, we gather for stocking time on our bed and take time to open gifts at different stages of the day and into the evening. This way us adults don’t miss out and we all get to acknowledge each other’s gifts.
Finally, I urge you to sit down now or at a convenient time and answer the following.
What does Christmas mean to you?
What things make you feel most connected to others at Christmas?
Reflections and Contemplations on what you want your Christmas to look like?
What get ahead prep can you do and when? -
How you can be more present?
What can you do to be more creative this Christmas - both yourself and your family?
How you can put some sparkle and magic into your self-care?
What can you cut back on to achieve a slower Christmas?
How and will you manage family members’ expectations of your slower Christmas?
What small celebrations are most important to you?
I would love to hear if you enjoyed this post. If you have any feedback or tips for slowing down. Please leave a comment in the box below.